Some months later: the film has been assembled and edited and Mr H is overseeing the music and sound of the final cut at the studio of his sound designer, Andre Jacquemin, in central London.

Now I've got a few words to say in the gap between the first and second lines of the song, after the camera has moved off me and started up towards the villains at the bar. I’m no longer in shot so the line can be added easily. ‘ADR’: additional dialogue recording, they call it. So now I've gone from being an anonymous karaoke singer, to a singer called Dino Laine to a singer called Dino Laine with a line of dialogue. Not a bad bit of bigging up.

I'm in the recording booth. My dialogue is variations on:

'My name's Dino Laine. This one's for Deacon and the lads, Shout out lads!'

Their enthusiastic response (‘Bravo Dino!’) to a line I haven’t yet said is, of course, already in the can from my day of filming months before in the pub. That’s the jigsaw that is film-making. .

I say the line in my normal County Durham 'makem' accent, not an accent you hear very often in movies, and it makes an amusing contrast with my smooth cowboy crooning.

'More enthusiasm!' says Andre from outside the recording booth. I repeat the line.

'No! Again! More enthusiasm!'

Unfortunately the sullen 'makem' accent is the least enthusiastic sounding of all regional accents. Eventually, by physically jumping up and down as I talk the line, I manage to work up a mild degree of energy ('Shout out lads!') and eventually Andre is happy.



I Belatedly Get a Line of Dialogue

Recording my one line of dialogue and the vocal track for the song The Ballad of the Blue Iguana at Andre Jacquemin’s sound studio in central London, in early 2018.

I was obviously channelling my inner Frank Sinatra and Nelson Riddle when H Hajaig took this somewhat blurry snap on his mobile phone.